Whoever told you it is okay to have addiction problems and dependency must be tripping to. It is never okay to use illegal substances or any intoxicating substance to ease yourself from your stash of problems. It is never okay to make it a habit to run away and freeze at the sight of any stressors or problems coming your way. What is far worse than reverting towards your desire to be high and alleviated is to refuse help and to refuse to change.
Addiction can create chaos ad problems across all boards. which means it does not just affect or ruin your personal life and behavior it can also stretch and extend itself towards other people around you and it might multiple the suffering. Do you want that to happen to the people you care for? Do you want them to take the toll for you too? Of course, not, that is not the plan. That is not the intention and it is never the things you want for yourself.
What you need right though is to get help, seek help, and allow help to transform you and let you be free from the restraining and corrupting shackles of your addiction. It is about time to espouse change and make sure that you will look beyond utter measures to make yourself comfortable and secure for your need for an excellent and perfect way to start a new life.
The cure to addiction is at the tip of a decision and that decision being the choice to get treatment. How do you treat your addiction except for making the initiative to have the best experts and trained professions to look into your case and give you the best possible kind treatment to resolve and fix your underlying and deepest seated issues.
All of the things that you want to fix about yourself and the answer to end your addiction resigned in your will to follow suit and to your willingness to change and your willingness to yield to therapy. There is a reason why you are dealing with that kind of urge to surrender to substance and alter reality with the ones created by your intoxicated brain. There is a reason why you could not seem to escape it. There is a reason why you need to make sure that you will need the best therapy and treatment for yourself.
All of that reason and riddles will be focused on you as you examine yourself and understand the very thing that ticks you off. All you need right now is to proceed and change. What you need right now is to make sure that you will not just make yourself anew by getting rid of your addiction but also you will need to do it with the people you know.
You do not have to be alone. You have people and you can see change and hope when you acknowledge that there is help waiting for you.